Why poligamy can never work

I was looking back thru our travel photos and found proof as to why Arizona and Utah are so up in arms about the Colorado City Fellas having more than one wife.

Historically, I am sure that the pros and cons of each side have been discussed in great detail by some of the finest  philosophers.  The evidince I have discovered in the far flung wilds of Burma should prove to everyone once and for all that while a fella can have two great and true loves in his life, he can not fully realize his love for both in tandem. 

He can be a true fool for each of them and he can enjoy interacting with both separately, but having them together is just not going to generate the kind of harmony one thinks it might.  Toward the bottom of the menu board is my proof.

Happy Easter from Malaysia

Jen and I are hoping that everyone has a happy Easter.
We crossed into Malaysia yesterday and after several plan changes and the inability to get ferry passage off of Langkawi Island (giant air show and festival ending) has put us traveling on Easter to Georgetown in hope of catching a later church service.

Just five more transfers to go.  Boat to local bus to long distance bus to boat to local bus.  If they all connect, we are in business.

I bet that the Easter bunny really can not stand Santa.

People always talk about how Santa gets around the world in a day delivering presents to all of the good little boys and girls.  They mention his flying sleigh and they leave him high calorie egg nog and cookies to keep his strength up.  We all know he lives at the north pole.

You can imagine the rabbit asking kids "do you even know where my house is?".  I picture him simply losing it on a kid who can't answer.

"Yeah, but Santa stays at the North Pole right?  You are clear on that.  No one knows anything about me other than egg delivery service.  My job is way tougher than the job that so called Clause has.  Also, there are no elves or Mrs. Bunny to help out around my house.  It is all me.  I have a single night to hit everyone, not just the good ones.  I ain't airborne either.  Do you have any idea how hard it is for an earthbound rabbit to cover the South Pacific?  Look, you ever have trouble finding your christmas presents?  Right under the tree in the same place every year.  Santa can almost sleep walk through visiting your house by the time you hit eight or nine years old, I have to keep finding new places to hide eggs.  Do you have any idea how much longer that takes?  Oh yeah, and lots of kids leave out carrots for me.  What do you think, like I am on a diet or something?  Ain't a kid in the world would pick a carrot over cookies and nog, but everyone thinks a carrot is just fine for me."

If he visits your house, Please be nicer to the bunny this year and leave him some johnny walker black or at least something nicer than you leave for santa.  The bunny works just as hard or harder and gets way less respect.

Out of Touch

We've spent the week a little out of touch snorkelling  and enjoying another Thai national park.   Got personal with long-tailed macaques, parrot fish, squid, really big spiders, and some extraordinary coral.  Turns out the snorkelling was just long enough to cure the blisters on our feet before we got more at the next park.  50 miles of jungle hiking logged so far.  We're in Phuket now, which is a jungle of a far different sort.  More snorkelling planned for next week..... ~ Jen

Lunatic Magazine April Cover Story

This months issue of Lunatic spotlights business and what some folks will do (or subject customers to) in order to make a few extra bucks.

A while a go in Cambodia we had boat transport that involved the least regard for passenger well being, safety, and comfort of any ride I had ever been on in my life.

The new record on all three fronts belongs to the travel we did on the overnight ferry from Ko Tao back to the mainland here in Thailand. 

Picture 60 individual pool raft size mattresses laid on the floor side touching side.  They ran the length of the room against each long wall of a boat galley with five foot celings. 

Jen and I were number 34 and 35.  A German woman was number 33 and a Japanese fella was 36.  There was no space between any of our two and a half foot wide mattresses and we, along with 56 others and 60 more on the deck below us, spent the night rolling thru the sea. Two bathrooms for everyone.

I woke up way too close to my Japanese friend twice and jen and her German neighbor had like ackward moments.  In fact if Jens neighbor had been a German Shepard rather than a German tourist, PETA would have been on site trying to shut things down.  I felt like a veal calf and did not really have room to turn around in the dark.

Really a bad travel choice.  We are taking a day ferry tomorrow and are hoping for better.

The complete and reckless disregard for large groups of nice people just to squeeze more money out of each run earns the Ko Tao overnight ferry operator this months cover of Lunatic ~ Paul

Welcome Juice

During the hotel check in process in all of the countries that we have visited there is sometimes welcome juice and wet towel service.  This sounds great and would seem to be providence for only the higher end hotels that Jen worms us into on discounted travel points.  The thing is that welcome juice is a random occurance.  I have yet to be able to figure when we are going to receive welcome juice and when we are not.

It is not associated with price and certainly not associated with hotel cleanliness or general upkeep.   Welcome juice can come with lipstick on the glass.  It can be served in a frangapani scented, fern filled, and air conditioned lobby or as a compliment to an inch of dirty standing water on the floor.  It goes well or not with all occasions inbetween.  The thing is that it is very difficult to refuse welcome juice.  No matter if it is plain old warm Tang or chilled fresh pineapple smoothie, avoiding instances of unwholsome welcome juice is no small trick.  Jen has enjoyed the welcome juices and has never been sick, but there are times when you want to say outright to a persistent hotel owner "look pal, your plumbing better be in better order than it is down here at reception prior to pushing that juice on me too hard.  How about having the juice guy clean instead of pouring juice?"  Of course you say "no thank you really again, I am allergic to tang" and then avoid anything orange for the rest of your stay.
This still causes a stir, as if your parents meant to cause offence today by passing on orange allergic genes so many years ago.  Dad said to mom "let's get that guy" and they have just been waiting since then.

I am not sure that welcome juice is really worth the hassle that some but not all hotels go thru.

Warning.....

Some of the warnings from our national park visits are in the pics below.  While we did not see elephants, we did see elephant tracks and "droppings".  No sign of the endangered siamese crocodiles unfortunately.....

Gibbons and Sambar, and Hornbills - Oh My!

A large part of the time we have spent in Thailand so far has been camping in two national parks which is why we've been a bit out of touch.  Thailand's national parks have been great - tons of wildlife and nice campgrounds with canteens.  We have seen loads of animals - white-handed gibbons, pig-tail macaques, dusky langurs, sambar, giant squirrel, barking deer, hornbills, 15 inch geckos, civit cat, asian porcupine, walking fish, butterfly bigger than your hand, other small mammals, birds, fish, reptiles, and cool bugs and plants.  We saw a snake catch and eat a frog as well which we thought was pretty cool, though a bit gruesome.  Many of these animals wandered freely through or near the campground.  Unfortunately, most pictures were taken on the camera so you'll have to wait til we get home if you want to see them.  There are a few we got in camp though with the phone including me interacting with an habituated gibbon.  Yes I did get my rabies series before we left.  ~ Jen

Welcome to Thailand again!

Although we've been here almost two weeks we've had intermittant internet access and so are still trying to catch you all up.  We flew back into Bangkok after Burma where we rested, spent time at 7-11, and accomplished some errands.   I visited the fancy temple that's part of the royal complex before leaving Bangkok the first time. Inside this temple was giant gold reclining buddha with mother or pearl inlay on his giant feet.  Here's some pics of that..... ~ Jen

An afternoon at the Strand Hotel

One of the main reasons for going to Burma was to have a cocktail at the Strand Hotel in Yangoon.   Over the years famous guests have included Rudyard Kippling, Mic Jagger, and George Orwell.  Jen and I sat at the empty hotel bar and sipped gin and tonics.  You could really imagine the famous folks whose names have appeared in the hotel register over the years sitting in the very same room.  Later we shot pool and lounged in the hotel lobby.  Clearly a five star joint and with all of the history, worth the trip.

One of the other main reasons to go to Yangoon, besides seeing the place I have read about, was to get some of those delicious crab rangoons straight from the source.   Turns out that no one in the town has ever heard of them, not even the folks at the Strand Hotel.  That was kind of a let down. 

Beasts of Burden

In addition to the oxen, there were a few more beasts of burden in Burma.... ~ Jen

Myanmar Market

Pics from a food market in Myanmar.  ~ Jen

Pics from Rangoon

For those who've been wondering what has happened to Yangon, here you are.... ~ Jen

Buddhist Sites in Burma

Much of Burma is about Buddhism - it seems to be the predominant force in the country.  No matter where you go the most important sites are Buddhist, older or newer and most of the great art is religious.  One of these is a monument on a spot where a giant gourd was defeated in battle.  You guess which.... ~ Jen

More on Myanmar

Still tryiing to get you caught up.  In Burma all young boys are encouraged to do a month-long stint in the buddhist monkhood, and many young girls also become nuns briefly.  While fulfilling this duty these young people are allowed to posess only seven prescribed items donated by the community and must beg for everything else they need - including food.  They also live with adult members of the order.  I can't help but think this experience would have quite an impact on a seven to ten year old and would seem to me to give these children a true appreciation of charity and of their lives back home. You see these little guys and girls everywhere.  Here are some of my favorite pics from the phone in the street, at the zoo, and, of course, at the arcade.

Feeding Hippos

There's a lot to be said for the Mandalay and Yangon zoos and much of it would make zookeepers in other countries cringe.  That being said, we had a great time feeding sun bears, rhinoceres, and giraffes.  The most fun, though, was feeding hippos.  Hippos come close enough to pet on the nose and hold their mouths open exposing those fearsome teeth and whatever remains unchewed.  They loved greens and cucumbers and stood there as long you had food.  I saw children as young as four feeding the hippos and we both had the chance to give them a quick pet on their gigantic slimy noses.  Fun enough in Mandalay to do it again in Yangon.

New cover for lunatic magazine.

The snake guy we wrote about in the last issue of lunatic magazine had his day.  This months cover story is about the guy who cleans the crocodile cages at the yangon zoo.  The zoo has two cages at two crocodiles per cage.  Stands to reason that when one of the cages needed a dust up, a piece of raw chicken could dispatch the crocodiles in one cage over to the other so that the keeper could sweep, skim the pool, change the sheets, and so on out of harms way.  Not here.  The guy goes into the cage with only a pair of rubber boots, a broom, and a skimming net.  Not only does he seem to ignore the twelve foot long crocodiles, even to the point of turning his back on them while he is sweeping, but also he pokes them with his skimming net so that he can collect any fallen leaves that are near or under them.  Poking a crocodile with a skimming net, of course, draws a pretty stern reaction from the crocodiles.  They turn upon the net upwards very quickly with a loud snap and a big splash as their whole body cresents in the strike against the offence.  No way could the guy get to and over the fence in time to avoid attack.   For his cleaning the crocodile cages everyday, the burmese zoo crocodile cage sweeper makes the cover of lunatic magazine for march 2013

Broken mom and India revisited

Broken mom.

Just hours before we left on the flight to burma we heard that mom f broke her wrist.  I have not had the opportunity to call and really hope the best for her.  Over these past two years I think she has matched 1970s Evil Kenevil bone for bone.  Health problems like that do come in threes.

India Revisited

Jen and I (and jerald a buddy from work) have talked at some length about seeing where the people change.  When you look at a world map you see china, india, russia, iran, europe, finland, africa etc...  What we have really wondered about is areas where the people start to look different as you drift from one area to the next.  Where do the native black folks start looking more like native arab folks and east indians and where do the indians start looking like the native south east asians?

Well Burma is where east indian folks start looking more asian and vice versa.  The native folks here clearly seem to embody the transition from east indian to south east asian in form, feature and festivity.

This assertion may seem to border on racial profiling, and I have thought a little about this in preparing this post.  I have to say that looking at the difference in how generations of native folks have responded to the environment in which they live is more of an ethnographic assertion than a raacial profile.  Asians look different than indians and burma is between the two.

Burma does lean more toward india culturally than it does Thailand.  Most of the gents could as easily fit into a new deli street scene as they do in their native mandalay. The colorfully dressed facial sun cream wearing ladies do nod more to the east in feature than do the gents, but it is difficult to notice under the various items they carry on their heads ala india.  The burmese train system is straight out of india (both owing that to the brittish) and in general the cusine I have seen is more indian than south east asian.

People here still use ox carts as rural transport and farming is done mostly in small plots all by hand.  Many kinds of plants are cultivated.  Sweat peas, sunflowers, dill, melons, corn, and rice are the ones I recognized there were many I did not.  Folks are planting right in the dry riverbed and I wonder how that all turns out year over year.  The climate here is enough like phoenix to make a fella homesick (for my air conditioner) but I have yet to see a swamp cooler so perhaps we are just in a dry spell.

It seems as if we are getting a glimpse of what it was like in the late 1800s early 1900s in America.  River boat pilots have stick men that call out water depths ala mark twain.  Travel takes forever and horse cart is still an option for getting from point a to b but gas power is faster.  Electric light is available most of the time and certainly only cuts out once in a while at the better places.

Folks here are all wee weed up about our president's visit.  He is often compared to Franklin D but here he is considered to be more like FDRs trailblazing cousin Teddy.  They say that prices have doubled here since president Obama came because there are so many more tourists coming.  I have joked that in america the same is true only we don't have the extra tourists.  We are really avoiding all talk of politics here.  So far other than having to register a passport at the hotel every night,  things have been pretty much the same as everywhere else.

A burmese bus ride.

Hurry the bus leaves at eleven.  Be sure you are on 15 minutes early.   At two minutes to eleven the engine roars to life and the full bus pulls from its spot, over to a parking area where more folks are waiting and a bunch of freight needs to be loaded, unloaded and rearranged to be loaded again.  Once the onions, burlap sacks,  backpacks, saws, canisters of something, wood and blankets are all arranged, the owners of those things join the people on the already full bus by sitting in the asiles or on the asile fold out seats and we are finally on our way.  On our way to a tea stand 200 yards away where the driver meets with friends for a quick cup as all of the passengers look on from their seats.  At noon we are started back up and hit the road for a filling station on the outskirts of town.  After another quick stop at a shade tree air compressor stand to blow out the engines air filter (apparently not something the gas station can do) we really start in earnest towards our destination.  After two more stops to pick up and drop off a few young fellas and some crates of packaged snacks, we at least double the distance traveled before a stop for lunch at 1.  After lunch we drop off the saw and cannister guy and pick up a nice family of 6 with just some luggage.  Another stop to speak at some length to woman who had sticks for the driver slowed us slightly, but not as much as did picking up a few road workers, old food carying ladies and groups of school children.  All said 128 miles took us seven hours to traverse on our express bus.  At speeds averaging 25 miles an hour, the train is the better option for when you really need to be somewhere quick.

On the way back we decided to try riding the 128 miles in the back of a shared pickup.  These vehicles are everywhere, have iron bars and a roof caging the bed,  and they are less expensive to use than busses.   The cost per seat is directlly related to the state of repair that the truck is in and roughly coorelated with the position in the truck you will occupy.  The three spots up front with the driver are each double the fare of any of the six to ten spaces on two front facing bench seats in the bed.  Slightly less are one of the 10 spaces on the rear facing U shaped bench that snakes around the bed behind the first two benches.  The two spots on the floor by the feet of those on the U bench are a real bargin as are the 4 standing room only spots on the bumper.  Roof seats up with the baggage are available as well.  The roof will hold as many as care to ride.  I counted 12 roof riders during one of the rest stops, but being on one one of the front benches, I did not always have an accurate tally.  In all we had 36 people on our shared pickup.  That is more than we had on the bus.  It was less money and about as fast.  The train is still the way to go.

We Haven't Forgotten You

Sorry for the long delay.  We were in Myanmar for two weeks where blogging had never been heard of.  Not sure but we think it is blocked by the govt.  Even if it weren't I don't think we ever had a fast enough connection to post - not that we didn't try.  Anyway we'll be posting items we wrote and anything additional about Myanmar from Bangkok.  The next two days we'll have great inernet access if you want to get a hold of us.